A friend expressed concern because a website I have set up is giving information away to people for free (thought-bricks.com).

I am happy to give the stuff away. In fact in some ways I have to do that from time to time. Whether other people appreciate it or not is up to them. I learned to become fairly philosophical about it all when I ran my free dating service. I gave a lot to people who I will never meet and I am happy that I did it. This is not because of any great altruism on my part, but because I got many totally unexpected benefits.

Did some take advantage and complain there was not more. Yes. Did some not appreciate all my hard work? Yes, hardly anybody appreciated it in fact. Did some even accuse me because a scammer got through to them on the site (even though I spent untold hours keeping the scammers at bay). Yes some did.

Still, I have no regrets about it. At times the whole thing was a big disappointment especially when I tried to get income from it and failed. I have no regrets, because in one way or another life gave me back all I put into it and more.

For one thing I learned a lot about myself and what blocked me creating healthy relationships – especially with women. It gave me a chance to write and to discover how much I like to write (captive audience). It gave me some purpose and direction and taught me things about giving sort-of unconditionally. Besides some people did ‘get it’ and realised what I was trying to do and once in a while someone would email me about how they appreciated it.

The reason I started the site was something told me to ‘serve through your wounds’. When I thought about that I realised I felt most wounded around male/female relationships so I looked for a way to serve people in that arena. Since I had computer skills I created the dating site. After ten years it was time to move on.

It is wonderful sometimes to give something away with out expecting much – or anything – back in return. It is only when I have expectations about what I am going to get back that I could end up bitter and disappointed. If I have no expectations then there is nothing for me to get disappointed about. I can just put it out there in the hope that people will benefit from it and see what happens.