Tough Forgiveness Exercise

This is a simple introduction ot the idea of Tough Forgiveness. It helps us get the idea into our system by looking at our approach to forgiving and reconciliation. By playing around with this approach a bit we begin to allow ourselves fuller permission to forgive and a whole and balanced way.

Try this.

1. Have you tended to assume that if you forgive someone that you need to reconcile with them too? Does thinking of forgiveness and reconciliation as being different things help you to forgive?

2. Is there anyone who you would like to forgive, but definitely do not want a reconciliation with? Does fully accepting that you do not want reconciliation with them make it easier for you to forgive?

3. Is there someone you would like to reconcile with, but while you or open to reconcilations, you are wary of doing so?  Do you see any sign of empathy from the person? Do they know how you really feel about what they did? Is there a way you can tell them your feelings without blaming them for how you feel? Is there a way which you could create clear agreements with the person so that you could be reconciled?