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A Solution to Stinky Sandal Syndrome?

Amongst the many challenges facing humanity these days few can be as onerous as the dreaded stinky sandal syndrome. I am presently in a rather hot country and in the last few weeks I have been facing a raging battle against this menace. At first my sandals just had their normal slightly odd aroma, but as the days passed I found myself resorting to various extremes to try and offset the rising scourge of stinkyness.

“Why not just buy a new pair?”, you might wonder. But these particular sandals are incredibly comfortable and I am loath to surrender them owing to the tyranny of sweat induced malodorosity (yes there actually is such a word) at least not without a struggle.

I tried many things, which availed not in my endeavors. Yet, of late I stumbled upon a possible solution. It occurred to me that the little bugs which lived in my sandals, and who for some reason want to trumpet their existence through a distinctive pong, can only do so because my sandals offer an environment conducive to their wellbeing. If I changed the environment they would no longer thrive and may sandals could become a place of peaceful repose instead of a swamp of smellyness.

The solution I came up with was to rub inside the sandals all over with shaving lotion. This was not for the obvious reason that the shaving lotion is perfumed, it was more that it is slightly oily (not to mention having some alcohol in there somewhere) and therefore would be a challenge to the probably water-loving beasties taking up residence in my footwear.

Has it worked? Indeed it has. I overdid it a bit at first and I smelled like shaving lotion salesperson for a while. But now, four or five days later, the perfume from the aftershave has quietened down yet there is still no or little sign of the original troublesome stink.

I stand poised at any moment to reapply my new found remedy if called upon to do so (though I’ll use a wee bit less next time). but so far have not had to do so. I may even try in with some other footwear when I return home.

Fear not ye who are afflicted with same. You could try rubbing some aftershave lotion open your offensive footwear and reap the joys happy smelling feet. But this should not be constituted as professional advice. If your shoes melt it is not my fault. In fact if you try this and your sandals burst into flames, explode,  go on the rampage, or whatever, none of it is my fault as I am not a medical professional, or a footwear professional, or an aftershave lotion professional, etc, etc…

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1 comment to A Solution to Stinky Sandal Syndrome?

  • paul wotherspoon

    Thank you William. You could have written this just for me. And I like your style. Staying in hostel dormitorys I have taken to storing them in a plastic bag overnight. I will put shaving cream on my shopping list. If you think the active ingredient is the alcohol, have you considered vodka, gin or perhaps a good single malt?

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